waiting.

i think everyone can relate to what my title for this blog is. sometimes waiting is good. and sometimes it's bad. for me, usually waiting is bad. just a couple of days ago, i had an awful feeling about how my results would turn out to be. but at the same time, i don't want that feelings to be true. too bad for me, the results didn't turned out that well. i had to wait for who knows how many long hours and days for that not to happened to me. but life is what it is. you just gotta accept what it offers to you no matter what.

and though that wait is over, i had to wait for another "waiting". the calls. the offers from any college that would accept me. i always wanted to go where my brother and sister went after they had their results. apparently for me, that was only a dream that i will never, in a gazillion years, achieved. right now, i just need to pray harder so that somethings good will happened. i really don't care what i get in the future. i am absolutely fine with it. it's just that, my parents means a lot to me and i don't wanna let them down, which i did, so many, many times. i just wish that i could do something that i like for myself and my parents would be proud of it.

i feel so ashamed of myself because i am the only person in this house that didn't do well in anything especially academics. my dad had this whole vision of having the entire family become a doctor. too bad i can't lived up to that expectation. sorry i had let you down dad, mum. i wish i could do anything to make it up for you guys because both of you had done so many great stuff to me and i really, really appreciate that. i promise. someday, even if it took me years, i will pay back everything and make you guys happy. i promise.